Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Machine Die

Shit is WEIRD

Humanity has lost authenticity

Life is detached from truth

Reality is orchestrated fiction

WTF Orwell!! They should have never gave you WORDS!!!

It is extraordinarily hard for me to find where I fit in this era

I can't maintain a constant and steady stream of positivity

I can't fake it till I make it

This fiction we're living is taxing my Spirit

I need to find a way back to solid life-giving ground

This machine is self-destructing

We will all feel its demise

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Patience is a Virtue I DON'T Possess

Why am I so impatient?

I know growing up my mother was
Always super impatient and anxious

So perhaps I learned it from her?

My father was also very impatient
And angry about things not getting
"Done fast enough"

So maybe I got it from him?

Impatience is a horrible burden:
A relentless thought process;
A parasite in my head;
An ache in my body;
A 200lbs weight on my chest;
A restraining jacket;


Monday, October 17, 2016

Reaching out AKA Selling out

As I start my YouTube channel I’ve realized I have A LOT to learn

A good part of learning curve is technical but there’s
Also a TON of emotional and psychological learning

I quickly found out that if I’m making videos,
I’ll have to reach out to people to view them

Keyword: Reach out aka (In my head) “selling out”

I’m still working through the feelings but
For now I remind myself that
“I have to get over it because there’s a goal I’m aiming to reach”


Sunday, October 2, 2016

YouTube Channel: ManriqueGabyStyle

New hobby in town!
Finally I have found something
Else to do with my life
Besides work, eat, sleep

I'm creating styling videos on the tube
I did this years ago with two people
And posted them here
Check them out:

And now the new format is hurr for you to watch

Friday, July 15, 2016

Boredom Is As Boredom Does

Ah blah...


THE condition of my life

My friend says,
"Only clever people get bored"...
I don't find any comfort in that saying

I wrote a post back in 2014 about boredom:
"My boredom doesn't stem from inactivity,

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Mother, No Other Like You

No other like you…

Growing up my Mother,
Cooked everyday, drove us to and 
Back from school everyday,
And that was kind of it

She wasn’t involved in my
School activities,
She wasn’t involved in my
Personal life,
She wasn’t involved in
In any way really
Other than making sure
I had food and shelter, and
Bless her heart for that!

I grew up wishing

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Life As I Know It

For some time now
I’ve known of the childhood
Behaviors I developed to
Tolerate living in the
Environment I grew up in

My life has been far from
Tragic but even the “perfect”
Childhood breeds dysfunction

For the past four years
I’ve been constantly going to

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

The Fk Happened Ten Years Ago

I was listening to Teal Swan
Whom I find really interesting
And her teachings very practical

And she said something along
The lines of 
“Let’s face it, we all end up
On the spiritual path because
We were suffering and wanted
To be happy. If we were happy already
We wouldn’t have ended up here”

A statement that I find
1000% (Yes, one thousand) true

I think people who end up
On the spiritual path have
A moment in our life when we

It’s like a moment when our
Stream of perception

Friday, August 28, 2015

Ten Year Anniversary

This year will be the
Ten year anniversary of
The beginning of my
Self-discovery Quest

Ten years of
Raw emotion,
Brutal honesty,
Painful discoveries,
Frightful confessions,
Disheartening endings to
Friendships and relationships,

Saturday, August 15, 2015

To Be Important To You

Ever since I can remember
I've been a stickler for punctuality

Being on time for school was
Always a priority
And if my ride for school
Wasn't on time, I'd begin walking

The feeling of frustration when
I can't be on time or
Someone else isn't on time
Is overwhelming

I been trying to resolve
This neurotic pet-peeve of mine

Friday, August 14, 2015

Razor Energy, Razor Words

Someone asked me this morning
If I ever get mad? 

I don't get mad:
I get livid, resentful and
Poisonous all at once

My energy and words become razors;

Thursday, August 13, 2015

The Sigh of Growth

One of my core values is

Growth above everything:

Some of my greatest
Growth experiences
Have been
The most violent;

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Getting Ready As Ritual

I thoroughly enjoy
“Getting ready”

It’s a form of ritual for me

I like everything about it

The shower:
The water and the smell of soap
The facial products:
The toner, lotion, foundation
The hairstyle:
Brushing, straightening, curling
The makeup:
Eyeshadow, lipstick, mascara
The outfit:
The shoes, dresses, tops, bottoms
The accessories:
The earrings, rings, necklace
And I particularly have a
Tremendous love for

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Not Cute Enough

For the entire months of
April and May
I have preoccupied myself
With changing my “look”,
Which has mostly consisted of
Buying shit (Retail)

I’m very much aware of
The urge I feel to buy,
And that has lead me to
Take some serious timeout
And introspect

Why do I have the urge to buy?

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

The Weight-Loss Struggle

During lunch I was struck
By the sight of two
Seemingly happy
Young adult women

What caught my attention
Was the size of their body,
Which displayed an
Over-enthusiasm for all things

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Cop a Feel... For How You Feel

Learning to pay attention
To how I feel has been
A life long goal

Learning how to know what I feel
And then resolve my feeling
Is an even greater ongoing life goal

I've been more apt to throw
Out the proverbial

Turning A Hobby Into A Job

I begin a lot of little projects

They tend to be projects
That need ongoing attention
And maintenance

Like this blog

However, if I'm going to be
1000% honest with myself
As to why my projects don't turn

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Makeup Can't Cover You Up

America loves makeup

I love makeup

It’s fun, interesting, and challenging

I don’t think makeup is a necessity
Nor do I feel naked without it

I also don’t think makeup
Is a form of covering or hiding

Makeup is used to conform to

Sunday, November 30, 2014

You Can't Add Nor Subtract

For a long time I’ve been
Trying to fatten a list of reasons
Detailing why
I’m "good enough"

Last week,
I laid down to

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Not Courageous, Just No Choice

A friend expressed
That she sees me as
For the way I choose to
Live life

My only reply was
“Honestly, I feel like I don’t have a choice”

I didn't choose to value what I value