Life As I Know It

For some time now

I’ve known of the childhood

Behaviors I developed to

Tolerate living in the

Environment I grew up in

My life has been far from

Tragic but even the “perfect”

Childhood breeds dysfunction

For the past four years

I’ve been constantly going to

Therapy, attending an awesome

Support group, and practicing

Meditation and introspection

However, I recently found

Myself acting out that

Same dysfunction I’ve

Been wanting to heal

For all this years

I was pissed to say the least

Feeling like I've been

Wasting my time and money

And accomplishing absolutely

Nothing

I can admit that other

Dysfunctions have been resolved

But the main one is still

Holding on strong

SO

I had to sit down and ask

Why the fk can’t I let this thing go?

Ahhhhhh!!

The truth is

It’s equals life to me;

Life as I’ve known it for the

Past twenty-five-plus years

I’ve built my lifestyle

Around this dysfunction, which

Works AMAZINGLY well for

Being autonomous, self-reliant,

Independent, courageous, outgoing,

Truthful, focused, inquisitive, determined

And an all around bad-bitch

(In the hip-hop meaning of the word haha)

BUT

The dysfunction epically fails

At creating intimate nurturing

Relationships

And this didn’t matter up until

I wanted

Nurturing and intimate

Relationships

Once I realized that I did,

I began doing work,

And now that I’m aware of

The pros and the cons

I’m not sure where I stand

I’m not interested in obliterating

The dysfunction because it works

In the practical material world

But I also need to learn how

To set aside when it comes down

To the emotional relational world

I’m just thankful I’m

Thirty-one years old

And already know where

My limitations are, rather than

Living life without a clue